When I last posted, I’m not sure it could have been predicted what would happen to the rest of the year, and I think it has really highlighted that life is short and that you never really know what is around the corner.
I had posted feeling positive back in the saddle, determined to get back to solid groundwork and achieve great things through the summer season, which didn’t end up happening, and I have had two falls since!
It may not seem like a lot, three falls in what may have been six months, but they did knock me (I know, in the scheme of greater things, I have been incredibly lucky, but I felt these falls needed to be acknoledged). The one right at the beginning of lockdown happened as I tried to mount, the horse moved away from the block quite quickly, which was hard to hold onto as I had one foot in the stirrup and then was thrown by a buck! This has made me quite wary when mounting now – the other day I was asked (when getting on a friend’s pony) if I had never ridden before, so that was hugely embarrassing at the time! My second fall, was my second in about six months where we made it over the first fence in a double, and proceeded to duck out of the second, with me ending up on the floor. I have never been totally confident whilst jumping, but I have enjoyed it, and as a consequence have been able to reason with myself. Lately, I have been talking myself out of not only jumping, but riding too, which is a logic that totally confuses me considering how much I love it and would never be without it.
There have been other incidents that have contributed to this that I may well share at a later date, but I wanted to make note of how I have been feeling, in case there is anyone else can relate. There have been two occasions previously where my confidence had taken a knock, and I was fortunate enough at the time to have people around me to say, you need a better experience or you may never get on another horse again, which is a horrible thought! At the time they were able to help me by taking it slowly again. It is for this reason that I am cautious of pushing myself, as I know that this will only make things worse, so instead, I am seeking help in my journey which I will hopefully be able to share as I go x